The Beginning.

I decided to join the biggest looser club online which I had done a bit of in the past. I only signed up for 3 months given my previous track record with sticking to these things. (It's now been 7 months and has well and truly become my lifestyle!!) I remember joking with my friend about donating our money to them 'this time'. :-)


The program they gave me online was to walk for 30 min three times a week. Sounds easy huh... BAhahahaha!!! I started in Feb at 107kg (did get up to 111kg but lost a few along the way) and I thought I was going to DIE walking 30 min! I walked to one of those red post boxes - 15 min there, 15 min back. It was a warmish day but I was loosing liquid FAST - the sweat was pouring off me!! My legs hurt, I was gasping for air like I had just run a 42 km marathon, the sun was hot, I swear even my eyes hurt!! BUT I kept going out every day. The website kept increasing the exercise until I was eventually walking 1 hour for 6 days a week. I no longer thought I was going to die and was into a good habit of planning meals and cooking healthy.

After a couple of months of doing this I started thinking I needed to do something more than walking. I had heard people talking about the C25K program where you learn to run. Apparently ANYONE could do it - it was fool proof!! HA! So, I downloaded it and went to the running track (cause running where cars could see was beyond me) and tried to run. I actually made myself sick I pushed myself so hard - as in nauseous, headache, sore throat from gasping in the air - took me an hour to feel ok again. And guess what - I could NOT do it!! I think I got through the first 3 intervals of 60 sec running before giving up. So much for the body doing what the mind tells it to (Commando)... yeah right - if I want to have a heart attack!!

So I started thinking about joining the gym. I got a free pass for both curves and Fernwood for a week each, went and checked out a few others... and decided that Fernwood was GREAT!! No guys checking you out and laughing at your attempts in their weights section, nice clean bathrooms, FRIENDLY staff, and little stuff which makes it extra nice - facewashers for your hot sweaty face, toiletries, fresh fruit etc... BEST thing I ever did!! And no - I am not getting paid any advertising discounts!! HUH! I wish! (I actually asked today because so many people ask me what I do to loose weight - I FEEL like a walking advertisment - But I got a big fat NO answer!!)

They offer different packages; ie food coaching, personal training, or basic use of everything.. I started out with the basic the upgraded to the one with the personal training. This also has to be up with the BEST thing too (Love my PT!!)... So much more motivating... but that is the topic of the next blog.. MOTIVATION.

Me and my weight: Emotional eating.

I have never had a healthy relationship with food or exercise; I was overweight as a kid and starved myself thin as an early teen. Late teens/early adulthood was ok but that was probably because I was a poor uni student and had no money to buy food anyway!! :-) I was always coming up with reasons why I couldn't do PE at school and at home on a really hot day when the family was in the pool I was in my room reading!!

My weight became a real problem when I was pregnant with my 2nd boy. I had about 4 years where there was family crises after family crises and I developed the bad habit of emotional eating. I had 2 kids 10 months apart, (one who we found out later he has autism, the other had to go on prescription formula because he was allergic to everything), my parents got divorced, my brother had 2 serious road accidents in 2 years (the first he was in rehab for 3 months, the second for 13months - he is now in a wheelchair with an ABI), my mum had a few mental health issues and half a dozen kids at my work passed away within a 6 month period (kids with disabilities). Needless to say, I ended up with my own mental health issues and ended up quite depressed myself!! I put on between 35- 40kg over those 4 years through lack of exercise and emotional eating!! My friends were great though, they would tell me "Who needs "Home and Away" when I can call you.." !!

These were a couple of the photo's which really hit me in the face. I was gigantic!! I had tried to lose weight a few times over the 4 years but every time I would start doing something about it - something else would go wrong!! I was almost afraid to start doing something about it again this year in case I set something off and it caused another drama.. :-) (Which I KNOW is stupid!!)

Anyhow, I am still working on the emotional eating side of things BUT I have learnt the power of EXERCISE as a mood improver / stress relief and it really does work!! Just need to figure out what I can do when exercise is not an option right there and then!!


A few helpful resources: (which I hope to keep updating as I find them - feel free to leave your own as comments or email me with them).

Whether foods are truly addictive or not, there is no denying that food can affect the way we feel.
http://weightloss.about.com/od/emotionsmotivation/a/blemeatwhy.htm


Stress is one of the most common reasons that women in particular overeat. Stress is alleviated by eating certain foods and many women get in the habit of reducing tension by enjoying these foods rather than dealing with the source of their tension.
http://weightloss.about.com/od/emotionaleatin1/tp/emotionaleating.htm


The worst part about emotional eating is it actually causes your problems to multiply. Eventually, instead of avoiding the issues you're stuffing down with food, you've created another one altogether -- weight gain, guilt about eating, worsening health ... and then it starts all over again.
http://weightloss.about.com/od/emotionsmotivation/a/blemeat.htm

Why I am writing this blog and doing 12WBT.

Recently I have joined Michelle Bridges 12WBT. I am looking forward to the kick in the butt that the 12WBT promises to be! (And it's already started - got a butt kicking today from a message Mish put in the forum about something I should have done but haven't!!)


One of her pre-season recommendations is to write a blog and I think reflecting on the whole weight loss journey is going to be helpful. The journey began in Feb this year (2010) and since then I have currently lost 33.5kg!! YAY!! Still got at least 8.5kg to go and am going to do that with this 12WBT. Not all that comfortable with putting myself 'out there' so to speak - but I am sure there are people out there who can relate to the journey!!

I have noticed the food side has been slipping a little lately - I haven't been as organised as I could have been with meals and consequently haven't made the wisest food choices... Still been ok but I am looking forward to some new recepies and idea's on 12WBT.

A couple of weeks ago I had the WORST evening with my kids, (husband was working late) they were having major punch on's, answering me back, totally doing everything and more that I told them not too.. it was HORRIBLE!!! And do you know what I did?? Something I had not done for MONTHS!! I went into the kitchen, closed the doors, let them kill each other and cracked open a packet of rice crackers and ate half a packet!! What's that I hear you say?? Thank goodness I picked rice crackers and thank goodness I only ate half the pack - THAT'S NOT THE POINT!! But - I am hearing you and I was glad about that too.. Minimal damage!! The point is I haven't nailed the emotional eating side of things - which caused my problems in the first place!! I was a little freaked out to discover that about myself which is another reason why I joined 12WBT. Michelle is always on about stuff with the mind - so I am looking forward to hearing what she has to say on the subject!!

I see and speak to so many people struggling with something weight loss or exercise related and most of the time I have been there!! People tell me now they won't come to the gym with me because they don't think they could keep up with me (which is a load of ... because I really am not that fit yet!!!) BUT I think they forget - I was where they are if not WORSE only 6 months ago!! I like remembering and sharing things I have found helpful to get me this far and in keeping this blog - perhaps someone else will also find them helpful. So, I am going to share thoughts, resources and articles I have found helpful.

I truly believe and am deadly serous: If I can do this - ANYONE can!!!