Struggling.

Struggling at the moment... There are no pics because firstly I have no time for pics and secondly I am not in a pics mood!! lol

A couple of weeks ago I moved house one day and had my brother pass away the next day... My husband has recently began a new job too... And the kids just started a new school (one with Autism which presents its own issues and one just starting prep!)
Sooooo exhausted!! It takes a lot of energy for me to eat healthy. It takes physical time and effort to prepare healthy meals... Time to plan what you will eat and what you need to buy, time to go shopping and buy the food, and then time to cut and chop and cook the food!! It takes emotional and mental effort for me to eat healthy meals... Who feels like eating carrot sticks when the feel lousy?? (I don't want to hear about it if that is you - you are NOT NORMAL!! lol).
Up until a day or two ago I was seriously feeling paniced at the length of my to do list! It was approximately 3 A5 pages long... Planning?? No time (or energy)to plan ahead- I was running on a day to day basis. What is on for tomorrow? What do I need to do to get ready for tomorrow? Which things off the to do list really needed to happen tomorrow?
I am struggling to get on top of it all... I am pleased to say I have been able to get to the gym most days and have not put on much weight (perhaps a couple of kilos which is still within maintainance at the moment)...
But - I really need to get those good eating habits back again soon - I do NOT want that 47kg's back again!!!
I guess this post is to remind myself not to give up... to keep on struggling along.. It will get back there again. (Hopefully with not to much damage weight and fitness wise!!) I have already lost the running ability I had there - I did 5km around Lilydale lake and managed to do that but it was SOooo difficult towards the end... How quickly you lose it!! :-(

I wanted to share one of the stories which someone else told about my brother at his funeral - I really think it describes him to a "T"! !! I'm gonna miss him! :-(

I had Chris with me doing some white water

canoeing. Our canoe was design for flat water, not rapids. I expected

to be spending a bit of time tossed out of the canoe, so I wasn’t

wearing glasses, and couldn’t easily see the best route down the

rapids. I told Chris he was the boss – all he had to do was choose the

route and yell instructions at me.

At the first rapids he would call “Left, slow down a bit, now right, go

again, now slow” and so on. This worked well for several rapids, then

we reached one where Chris yelled, “Go, Go, Go, GO”. Which we did,

and ended up tossed out and bouncing down the rapids.

Several more rapids with the “Slow, now right, OK a bit faster”

approach, then a few more later another “Go, Go, GO” set of rapids,

again ending up in the drink.

A few more carefully navigated rapids, and then the 3rd “Go, Go. GO”

set of rapids, again tossed out. So this time I asked Chris, “What’s

happening with this ‘Go, Go, Go?’ thing?” To which he replied, “John, if

I can’t see any good way through, I figure we might as well just go

fast.”