"Sometimes you are not supposed to get what you want because you need to grow". - Tony Robbins.
I got on the scales the other day and it went up to 60.7kg, and as per what seems to be usual recently I felt like crap... 60kg is my cut off in terms of where I want to be, and once I go over 60kg I am supposed to jump back on the 'watching what I eat' train and make sure the weight does not get out of hand. Problem is recently that has not been happening. I have been over 60kg for the last couple of months and it's not really going down at all.
I had just come back from an amazing conference with the awesome Tony Robbins and had all sorts of information on success floating around in my head... when it suddenly occurred to me -- I am focusing on the results, when I should be focusing on the process!! The weight you are is like the fruit on the tree - instead of trying to change the fruit on the tree, you need to go underground and plant different seeds!! And THAT was the lightbulb moment of the centuary for me.
On a short term level our decisions are influenced by our state of mind.
On a long term level our decisions are influenced by our story, blueprint or internal map on life.
This past year and a half I have been continually changing my state of mind to influence myself and keep myself on track. I reckon that is what majority of people do to lose weight. Constantly keeping your mind in the right space for weight loss is exhausting and I'm amazed that I kept it up for so long without looking at my story. Very few people I think go deeper and change their story behind their weight. It really is not possable to do this on a hugely long term basis... sooner or later there will be a time that you just cannot keep altering your state of mind. Your internal beliefs will catch up with you eventually!! LOL
So I sat down and asked myself some hard questions recently. It went something like this.
"Why am I putting on weight?? "
"Because I am finding life stressful and hard and the moment, and I am emotionally eating."
"What is the reasoning behind this? What is my underlying belief here?"
"Because I believe that eating will and does make me feel better."
"Is this really the truth?"
"Well, it does very, very momentarily... but not at all in the scheme of things - even at a short term level not really."
"So, why do you do it?"
"Because I don't believe I can NOT do it, I feel helpless. I haven't had to cope with this level of stress since I began to lose weight and I don't think I am strong enough. So, even though I have been TELLING myself I can - I haven't truly been believing it!"
Cha Ching!!! And there we have it ladies and gentlemen!! Woo! Taking action without belief that you will be successful pretty much set you up NOT to be successful!!
And once we have the problem, we can have a solution!
The problem here is that firstly, I am in a habit of eating when I feel stressed and sad... and secondly, that I don't truly believe I can NOT eat during these times.
So, given that it is not possable to change your state of mind over and over and over again on a long term basis -- I need to look at my story behind it. I need to get rid of the victim mentality and get some sustainable strategies for dealing with the problem. If I want to get different results, I need to DO something different now.
Recognising and acknowledging why I am eating before I eat is doing something different. Once I have recognised what I am doing, I can break that particular habit. So, when I realise that I want to eat because I am stressed - I acknowledge that I want to eat because I am stressed, realise I don't have to eat because I am stressed, acknowledge that it really is not going to make me feel any better in the scheme of things and then do what I need to do to break that habit at the time. Whether it is a matter of flexing the willpower muscle, employing the layby system, doing something to distract myself... whatever I need to do at the time -- DO IT! LOL!
We need success to validate our beliefs that we can be successful... Success or failure is dependant on our decisions... Decision are affected by what we focus on... We need to focus on things we can control (otherwise we end up feeling helpless and depressed). I may not be able to control how stressful life is -- but I can control my reaction to that stress. Acknowledging why I want to eat and realising I don't have to is doing something differently ALREADY!! And if I want to do something even MORE radical, I can do something even MORE differently and NOT EAT right at that moment. I can break the habit to eat when stressed. One baby step and one win at a time. They will all add up to SUCCESS!!
YAY! This will be focusing on the PROCESS rather than the RESULTS. The weight is not the problem - it is the result of the real problem.
