I have been a little discouraged lately with the exercise stuff.. With certain people telling me what I am bad at... Trying to juggle family and life... Being discouraged from even doing exercise... And just being sick and not doing as well as I could!!
Anyway, This morning I arranged to meet someone and have a go at the 1km time trial and the beep test. I have not done the time trial this round of the 12WBT-- With the discouragements lately, I have found myself thrown back in time, way back to where I began in terms of being scared of failing... At the end of last year I did the 1km in 4.27min. What if I could not do that again?? What if I had gone BACKWARDS in my time??? (Amazing how one persons critism can really knock you around!) But this morning I bit the bullet and did it. I actually had to have 2 tries at it because I gave up halfway through the first try (which is quite indicitative of my state of mind these days! - Scared of failing). I am NOT a quitter - in fact, I can't remember giving up at any fitness challenge before (So this was really quite a significant thing!!) When I gave up after 600m, I asked the person my time and was surprised to find it around 2.30min... That was not too bad.. I could handle that!! I had a bit of a "moment" here because I realised I probably could have done it!! LOL...
So, I went on and did the beep test; and then went back and gave the time trial another shot!! I am continually amazed by how much of this exercise stuff is a mental game. The last lap around I kept repeating to myself - strong fit legs / strong fit legs !! And I did the 1km time trial in 4.28min!! YAY! I haven't lost it!! LOL!! AND I think I could beat that!! I was really fighting with confidence issues for most of that 1km. Now that I know what I can do -- WOO!! Bring on the next one! Hahaha...
The Beep Test was much the same as the first shot at the time trial in that I gave up as soon as it got a little hard. I got up to level 7 and then stopped. I had never done the beep test before... and now that I know what it is all about I look forward to smashing past that number too!! LOL! Next time I will do it with someone -- I reckon a little competition would help heaps.. I didn't really give it everything today so I am excited about trying it again..
The mind is such a powerful thing. It is so important to stay on top of it and not let anyone drag you down and get you to doubt yourself. Easy to say, hard to do!! As soon as you start to doubt - your performance drops significantly! Let this be a lesson to me!!! My mind really is a tool - I need to learn how to use it! I guess this was what you call a breakdown and breakthrough moment!! (Thanks Chloe for your help.. Really appreciate it!)
I just read a post by Craig Harper which is so true!!
A quote from it: http://www.craigharper.com.au/happiness/self-loathing/
I’ve never met a person who has not experienced the “I’m not good enough” feeling at some stage of their journey. I have felt it many times. It’s called being human. And it’s okay. What’s not okay is for those feelings to destroy my potential, my happiness or my future. What’s not okay is for those feelings to hijack my cerebral landscape. What’s not okay is for those feelings to determine decisions, my behaviours or my reality.